Wednesday, November 29, 2006


原創曲: 美人魚
改編詞: 燕

精緻透明 那香水瓶
隱藏着是誰的 秘密

我的思緒 你的幻影
融進空氣裡 雨都 洗不干淨

我不能 輕易的就此放開 也忘了 時間在身上殘酷 對待
我不能 把淚都收藏起來 我突然變得 好慷慨 (不再乎隨時 被淹埋)

要怎麼挽回 重新在你懷裡
每一次呼吸 像是在喚醒從前的記憶
也許不再聽到你回應 然而在我心裡面卻從不曾忘記

* like the feel of the song when first heard it over the radio, as simple as that **


白風 said...

your concepts are 一鸣惊人 also..

a lot of nice lines/ideas, but din go in-depth so a bit wasted... *dun take offence*

卻驅不散你的痕跡<-- i like!

It actually occupied me n YL 20 mins++ discussing.. hhehehhee..

so.. wat does the perfume bottle contain??

horizons said...

i like this
精緻透明 那香水瓶
隱藏着是誰的 秘密
wat secrets can u hold in a transparent bottle? brilliant idea.

i also like this
the see bottom bit is very visual, and very beautifully u tell the audience that ur story has ended/dried up.

but hor, assuming that perfume bottle contains only perfume, in ur verse, perfume = secret; in ur rap, perfume = our past. therefore, our past = secret, and i conclude that this is an affair ;p

choonyen said...

白風 & horizons: no worries on whatever offences.I treat it more as a 指導 bah.Ha Ha, Im always not good at conveying my words especially during our class lessons.Sometimes quite 詞不達意,that's how I feels lah...oops.Ok, come back to my idea on this lyrics.This is talking about my fren's rship(some kind of affair stuffs...yes hoizons , u get what I trying to say)
So I use it as a foundation of my concept.Actually,It can also be a bottle contains memories of a past love, or some love secrets or watever.To me, scent of perfume can be mysterious or 奥秘 too,just like love.So by putting 隱藏着是誰的 秘密 at verse 1, just to let audiences to have room for imagination.Anyway, really appreciate you both true feeling on my works, will continue to jia you :)

白風 said...

so if ur bottle contains memories, u utilise ur memories aka do some recollections, wouldnt ur memories be more vivid?

so judging from the above argument.. how do u empty ur bottle of memories?

一點一滴散發開的香氣 = recollection of memories

how do u use ur memories to cover the other party's traces?

bwahhahha.. we're being too logical already..

then hor..
精緻透明 那香水瓶
隱藏着是誰的 秘密
the 1st line will mean that the secrets are transparent to all leh..

actually we did have some alternate ideas, like the perfume = secrets.. then put too long, the perfume will evaporate away, secret becomes no secret..
or that u're using the power of perfume to erase the traces of the other party.. but even after u use finish.. the traces is still lingering around..

hahhaha... we're trying to confuse everyone with our comments..

horizons said...

hee...then i also join in the fun n confuse cy further ;p
another point that we were debating over ur intentions
我不能 輕易的就此放開 也忘了 時間在身上殘酷 對待
it can be read in two ways
1) time is cruel, and i forgotten, hence i 放開 already. then a bit contradict hor.
2) i cannot 放開 is cos i forgot abt the pain. its like forgetting the previous lesson learnt n going back to old ways again.
which was the one u intended, or u intended neither? ;p

choonyen said...

Hi 白風 & horizons : Tks for your comments.Will Try harder next time :)

horizons said...

other than trying ahrder to write better lyrics, u may also want to consider trying harder to reply comments too ;p

horizons said...

my previous comment a bit short and holds the potential of being misunderstood, sorry if it was read in any other way but what i really meant was:
cy, write longer comments n join in the fun!
in addition, "writing better lyrics" refers to sth that everyone is trying to work towards, and shud NOT be construed as this current work is not good, i stated in the earlier post and would state it again, this song really have many good ideas that i can only marvel at.
would like to apologise should any comments were inappropriate.

chai said...


choonyen said...

是的 chai﹐偶爾當我在重新哼那些自己改編過詞的歌﹐感覺有時真的還蠻怪的 !當然有時難免會拿來做比較﹐原因是原創詞或歌曲有時太入民心了。像我這個還在學習填詞的學生﹐真的是一項挑戰。謝謝您的評語﹐會再接再厲 : )